OT Funny IT Stories

From: Randy Yates 
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I thought I'd start this because I was just telling some friends about
something that happened at a previous company, and I wanted to hear more
funny stories from the IT world.

The company I worked at used HP Service Center for etickets. We called
their support because we had a question about LDAP authentication. The
support guy told us that we would have to call LDAP with the question.

Who's next?

-- 
Google reads my email!

=============================================================== From: Aaron welch ------------------------------------------------------ I once worked on a UT professors computer in the support department. I stuck a CD in the CDROM drive to install some driver software, but it would not read the disk. I used this disk like 100 times a day, so I know it worked. I open the tray and look at the disk, but there is nothing wrong. As I go to put it back into the drive I notice something weird about the tray, a brown ring. As it turns out, he thought that the coffee tray was the best idea ever for computers as it kept him from spilling it on his desk piled with crap. -AW

=============================================================== From: Bret McHone ------------------------------------------------------ We were missing a laptop on one of our floors after doing an inventory. 6 months later it surfaced when a maintenance guy noticed a laptop being used to fix a broken foot on a table in a breakroom when he went in to work on the fridge. Turns out that some of our staff hates wobbly tables. -B

=============================================================== From: Benjamin Stewart ------------------------------------------------------ I once had to get a user to access a website that was only available over HTTPS, and in order to make it clear, I spelled it out for them phonetically. However, somehow "Harry-Tom-Tom-Paul-Sam" turned into HPPTF. Oh and there was the guy who couldn't find the "Play" button on the Quicktime Player window. I've seen a VGA cable plugged into the back up an HP LaserJet printer. Hey, it fit! Earlier this year, I had a lady from marketing (you know the type) call me in a panic to tell me that she had forwarded a virus-laden email (using her Mac) to someone at another company ("Hey, is this yours?"), and it had infected all of their PCs. She wanted me to go over there and clean up her mess. That didn't fall within our department's scope, but someone else on this list did happen to inherit that mess...

=============================================================== From: wes ------------------------------------------------------ that reminds me of the time I was doing tech support, talking someone through setting up their email account on outlook express.... Outgoing Mail Server: sasinsam masinmary tasintom pasinpaul [headdesk] this one isn't mine, but is my favorite IT WTF story: http://www.ibiblio.org/harris/500milemail.html -wes

=============================================================== From: Stephen Kraus ------------------------------------------------------ Operations guys were complaining of being bored on flights, so I helped them install Oregon Trail on OpenVMS for our aircraft.

=============================================================== From: Aaron welch ------------------------------------------------------ Should have installed Missile Command. :+P -AW

=============================================================== From: Stephen Kraus ------------------------------------------------------ Couldn't find a port I could get working easily on OpenVMS

=============================================================== From: Mike Smith ------------------------------------------------------ Name of company omitted to protect the guilty. There was a Mac, a mouse taped to a rubber band in turn taped to the desk. A string connected to a phone cord connected to a small oscillating fan. The fan would turn and the tension was just so that the mouse would move to keep the mac from going to sleep. It was a production critical system. Pointing out that you could turn off sleep, or remove it from the group in XServe, or DONT PUT PRODUCTION ON AN EXPOSED USER CLASS SYSTEM all had the same affect. Thanks, Mike Smith (423) 650-4417

=============================================================== From: Randy Yates ------------------------------------------------------ You have to admit that's pretty crafty.

=============================================================== From: Ed King ------------------------------------------------------ funny IT story:=A0=A0 my paycheck

=============================================================== From: Lynn Dixon ------------------------------------------------------ Oh Ed, we should compare paychecks then. I have an RCHSA, RHCE and a Redhat Certificate of Expertise in Clustering. My pay is less than most help desk people. Those of you that know me personally can vouch for that. If Mohawk didn't offer to help pay for my certifications, I would have already left. I am working towards RHCA, and they are also paying for my MBA.

=============================================================== From: Randy Yates ------------------------------------------------------ I keep telling him that most companies do that, plus pay you better, but he won't listen.

=============================================================== From: Stephen Kraus ------------------------------------------------------ Doh!

=============================================================== From: Dave Brockman ------------------------------------------------------ -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Hash: SHA1 delta-tango-bravo has been translated into some very interesting interpretations also.... Did I ever put the key covers on any of your keys? The jammed a VGA cable onto a serial connection? Or that older video that only had 9 pins? I don't think that was VGA. ROFL. I hadn't heard that side of it. It was only a couple of PCs, so it wasn't that bad. And honestly, it kinda made my day to talk to Daniel, even if it was to mention that maybe a certain lady from marketing shouldn't be forwarding obvious nastiness along. From: UPS Store To: Lady from Marketing Subject: Your Invoice! Please see PDF attachment to view your invoice. Attachment: UPS-ONLINE-STORE-RECEIPT.PDF.zip (UPS-ONLINE-STORE-RECEIPT.PDF.EXE inside zip) Or other such silliness. I just remember the domain name in the from address had some sexual content in it. Good stuff.... Regards, dtb -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: GnuPG v2.0.17 (MingW32) Comment: Using GnuPG with Thunderbird - http://www.enigmail.net/ iQEcBAEBAgAGBQJSFB3+AAoJEMP+wtEOVbcd/yMH/i83uJAeTkRl6HK+hED/i6L0 3HGHcsnCvYeEhSKoC/4K0QJIrAH3Off/TIWFQCd/UsM/HCxjOVcP0bGXDxsePccv Pwrc2GwLuqZcEOxeIRnxE91CX3UB9Butn/GKbLtukSu+3q3QBZb15pt1PyGDcZwu PP0H9nkNq6B5o9fPta9BSPjPLobmgY0QKGPvzmn++YysvpVlVu3s3s20xwN5Ayie L4JpsK1IkbwQItySYDH0ed6dODiLOyYSbOzeVkuLkP3NpvyatNAkevZc3P5Q2UzF OchFufEaVCU0eD1lH5pXNpmpWpEWZcf9vhfzf0GyyCwqGr8LY9kBaoDXK2GBmH0= =oiJF -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

=============================================================== From: wes ------------------------------------------------------ the time. -wes

=============================================================== From: Dave Brockman ------------------------------------------------------ -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Hash: SHA1 Serial interface? I was scratching my head about 1/2 second after I hit send on that. I honestly haven't seen a serial interface on a printer in damn near a decade, and I can't really say that I miss it. Console ports on switch/router/firewall are bad enough. But I thought I remembered HP having DB-15 and OKI having the DB-9 but it was too late at that point :) Regards, dtb -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: GnuPG v2.0.17 (MingW32) Comment: Using GnuPG with Thunderbird - http://www.enigmail.net/ iQEcBAEBAgAGBQJSFCRzAAoJEMP+wtEOVbcdJ9AH/1euTut7QE5+4rdSzMHJHN/w 05LGY/Fd0ejT2T+H2f8pTH4fx5Efi9n6fJtGmJbxY2Q1hm1JB6VM66fojFER5nGS vFkT0TLACWgro8T0XYcPbgMLicgGo0QLDGX+z92qwOI0+hX6PAFpnH3MsfaLSMyb 2+ZxkYt3no1we30Cwco3rz1nMx063jZnk98DgSlN9ziHqredSW1agxOvoylmFuVv MrF3axX/vMWUPCbdIJaN7ijSoIbGd4iHckCjFICVT38RyKTTf2gTEUVT5Z1y9u5+ QN7WqZ6cfCDk+7evv3793vkI+dAE0JGp5D7IWGXsm0KZ7LqhEOjzlhxVyrFNoLw= =yyhs -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

=============================================================== From: wes ------------------------------------------------------ it's used to connect peripherals (for example, a paper stacker) to the printer. no idea on the protocol, but either way it's not for connecting a computer to it to send print jobs. possibly could have diag / programming uses. -wes

=============================================================== From: Dave Brockman ------------------------------------------------------ -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Hash: SHA1 meh, then maybe I'm reversed and OKI had the 15 pins .... :) Oh yeah, I don't care :) Regards, dtb -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: GnuPG v2.0.17 (MingW32) Comment: Using GnuPG with Thunderbird - http://www.enigmail.net/ iQEcBAEBAgAGBQJSFCyUAAoJEMP+wtEOVbcdzKEH/A7vbwMCVl0jL3Ma8vUGpmld R8WyBUyQCNxmtY7sitGltrJrsAVYuF2CMkwi07QZEniXuz6Qo7gYBZTMlgVyUdXO pJ1lOzSgKVvz3Om7GUy83QzC3iBg+cU2VDvWg/ugGVKL79xXsqC8bbR5p7Qrl76Y yP/RkBVXtGnlSviCn1GcDl6oke4RA5fSXgV4hWQYKnUxesQ3Npc99louhFwBtJIO D3UoyDCcfdHj3yH6JyWYn7X54fFbB46IEappJI01UgMgIibMXpP4YOkute+Jdd7e a1JLkn2Mqubi6zcr1RDn7zIJhfb4P+/GquT+JELDj3uOg7vlhh9GZeicWVSsfNg= =03xt -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

=============================================================== From: Chad Smith ------------------------------------------------------ I, too, was impressed by the ingenuity of the automatic mouse mover.... Pointless as it may have been. *- Chad W. Smith*

=============================================================== From: DaWorm ------------------------------------------------------ Back in the 3.1 days, we had a girl in marketing who changed her Windows background and foreground colors to match her outfit for the day. One day she wore a white dress. Fixing that blind was fun. Not. She didn't last much longer.

=============================================================== From: Chad Smith ------------------------------------------------------ Guys - if you haven't followed that link you are TRULY missing out. That story is awesome as heck. *- Chad W. Smith*

=============================================================== From: Benjamin Stewart ------------------------------------------------------ Yes, it was one of those 15-pin serial peripheral-type connections, on a LaserJet 4000. I'm enjoying everyone else's stories! Oh yeah, you reminded me of another one. C:\Users\luser>ipconfigalloneword 'ipconfigalloneword' is not recognized as an internal or external command, operable program or batch file. C:\Users\luser>

=============================================================== From: John Aldrich ------------------------------------------------------ Back in the day when I was working tech support for a certain local ISP (now no longer in business) I was on the phone walking a customer through setting up her email. After it was all set up, I told her something along the lines of "now you can get on-line and download all your email." Her response was "You mean I need to be on-line to get my email???" I put the phone on hold and let out a shriek of anguish, then picked the call back up and nicely told the lady, "Yes, you'll have to be connected to the internet to get your email" at which time we exchanged pleasant goodbyes and hung up. At that point in my Tech Support career, I was walking customers through making a dial-up using Trumpet Winsock in Win311/95 while working in Linux myself.

=============================================================== From: Eric Wolf ------------------------------------------------------ In the primordial days of COL, before John came on board to put a more professional face on customer support, we had a customer who called in for help getting connected. I asked the customer to check their Winsock settings and the customer replied, "The computer is over at my house." After some inquiry and disbelief, I came to realize the customer was calling from he neighbor's house because he did not have a home phone. And yet, he wanted to connect to COL back in the day with Mosaic was the most common browser followed by Lynx. -Eric -=--=---=----=----=---=--=-=--=---=----=---=--=-=- Eric B. Wolf 720-334-7734

=============================================================== From: Jon Stanford ------------------------------------------------------ It may be OT but I think this is my favorite thread I've read on this group! ----- Original Message ----- From: "Eric Wolf" To: "Chattanooga Unix Gnu Android Linux Users Group" Sent: Wednesday, August 21, 2013 10:58:14 AM Subject: Re: [Chugalug] OT Funny IT Stories In the primordial days of COL, before John came on board to put a more professional face on customer support, we had a customer who called in for help getting connected. I asked the customer to check their Winsock settings and the customer replied, "The computer is over at my house." After some inquiry and disbelief, I came to realize the customer was calling from he neighbor's house because he did not have a home phone. And yet, he wanted to connect to COL back in the day with Mosaic was the most common browser followed by Lynx. -Eric -=--=---=----=----=---=--=-=--=---=----=---=--=-=- Eric B. Wolf 720-334-7734 Back in the day when I was working tech support for a certain local ISP (now no longer in business) I was on the phone walking a customer through setting up her email. After it was all set up, I told her something along the lines of "now you can get on-line and download all your email." Her response was "You mean I need to be on-line to get my email???" I put the phone on hold and let out a shriek of anguish, then picked the call back up and nicely told the lady, "Yes, you'll have to be connected to the internet to get your email" at which time we exchanged pleasant goodbyes and hung up. At that point in my Tech Support career, I was walking customers through making a dial-up using Trumpet Winsock in Win311/95 while working in Linux myself.

=============================================================== From: Mike Harrison ------------------------------------------------------ The best one was in about 1994, still on the 4th floor of the Doctors Building... She paid for an account, and was trying to connect with a phone, expecting her TV to start showing her things. We gave her her money back. She had seen on TV somewhere a demo of "shopping at home" with a touch tone phone and thought this was it. She'd dial, and punch her assigned password in on the phone keypad. She did not have a computer. If we were brighter, and not having fun checking our email with POP commands.. we would have built "amazon.com" because the internet has become that system (and much more). Runner up: I did a service call to a lady that was trying to fax things by holding paper up to the monitor like her son had shown her. The missing step was the PaperPort scanner was at the top of the keyboard, bottom of the monitor and the kid had used the static cling of the monitor to hold paper to feed into the rollers of the PaperPort. She was adamant that she had sent faxes before by holding them up to the monitor. It worked great once the paper was fed in. Next Runner Up: BOFH/Chris: Customer with a problem with email BOFH was helping with: "You are reading my email! Aren't you!" BOFH: "No sir, your email isn't as interesting as mine..." and the list goes on and on.. a notable mention: Jim aka Bama1 started with support calls about how to turn his computer on... and ended up giving lessons on Linux.

=============================================================== From: Ashley Wilson ------------------------------------------------------ Mike, (not entirely off-topic) I miss your illuminated customer diagrams.

=============================================================== From: Stephen Kraus ------------------------------------------------------ Having to explain to pilots that using the antenna on the bottom of the aircraft for a line of sight radio while on the ground won't work. Having to tell a new pilot that the system she loaded crypto into wasn't actually a crypto system

=============================================================== From: John Aldrich ------------------------------------------------------ Quoting Eric Wolf : Funny how back in those days people didn't understand you had to be connected to the internet, and that required a phone line. :D

=============================================================== From: Dan Lyke ------------------------------------------------------ Well if we're telling stories from that era... when we were downstairs in the Doctor's Building, it may have even been when we were still doing UUCP gatewayed email @htsinc.com (along with the awesome 9600 baud satellite feed for Usenet!), the guy who tried to email "all" and couldn't understand why trying to send an email to everyone who was on the Internet was a bad idea, and why his mail bounced. Dan

=============================================================== From: Chris Mowery ------------------------------------------------------ Now we get people who think that buying a laptop or tablet with WiFi means they can get on anywhere. Or that since we have a wireless network on campus, they can get to it from their home, too.

=============================================================== From: Reed Gregory ------------------------------------------------------ Having a co-worker in IT ask me if I have a "SCSI computer keyboard" they can use.

=============================================================== From: Dan Lyke ------------------------------------------------------ If this was back in the days when Apple was trying to get people to pronounce SCSI as "sexy" rather than "scuzzy", I'd be doubly concerned... Dan

=============================================================== From: Bret McHone ------------------------------------------------------ My coworker was telling me a story about 7-8 years ago they had a repair tech come in to work on some biomed gear in a surgical area. He had to scrub in just to get back in the area. Well, not only did he grab the wrong size suite, but apparently hadn't done it before so he stripped down naked and repaired the equipment wearing nothing but semi-translucent overly tight disposable coveralls...

=============================================================== From: Matt Keys ------------------------------------------------------ A coworker responds to a frequent caller/emailer with a list of instructions to resolve an issue. The list was labeled 1 through 10. She responds back "Where do I start?"

=============================================================== From: Chad Smith ------------------------------------------------------ Back when I worked in an office full time, we lost power during a lightning storm, so someone called and reported it to the EPB, and we were waiting for our turn to get power back, and one lady came over and said "My computer isn't working". "Yes, the power is out." "I know that, but I can't get my computer to come on." *blank stares* "You mean the computer needs power to work?" "Yes, yes it does." Apparently she thought that since laptops have batteries, all computers do. //The More You Know! =E2=98=B0=E2=98=B0=E2=98=B0=E2=98=B0=E2=98=B0=E2=98=B0=E2=98=B0=E2=98=B0=E2= =98=B0=E2=98=B0=E2=98=86 *- Chad W. Smith* h g to ux

=============================================================== From: Matt Keys ------------------------------------------------------ I'm diggin' the ascii art. As soon as I saw it I had a flashback to reading rainbow. I'm curious why my mind associated the two -- maybe just a PBS thing?

=============================================================== From: Unkmar ------------------------------------------------------ 1. I was running my computer repair store. A machine comes in for some standard virus cleaning. I'm standing there with the customer watching over my shoulder as I reboot the machine into safe mode. I don't remember if explorer had crashed or what. I just remember, I only had the task manager window available. I used run to open another window and since task manager loves to be always on top. I moved the window towards the upper left and out of my way. About 3 seconds later I had maximized another window using the handy double click title bar trick. Was about to do something else when the customer asks. "How did you do that?" I responded, "Do what?, This?" so I unmaximized the windows and remaxmized it. Customer says "No." So I ask, "What? This?" so I grab the task manager and wiggle it around. He says, "Yes, that!" Friends, I have to say, My shear disbelief is all that allowed me to deadpan explain how to move a window around a GUI. 2. A customer asks if they can watch as I work on their computer and if their watching makes me nervous. I informed them, sure, you can watch. You likely won't be able to keep up with what I'm doing unless I intentionally slow down and explain it. And if someone ever complains you are making them nervous while working on their computer. They are done, They don't know what they are doing and shouldn't be working on your computer.